Deeper

I recently had a very natural and supernatural experience. I learnt something about myself that I really want to change.

A few weeks ago I had the chance to go on a bushwalk with some boys from school. We had already hiked into the bush in the morning and now we were walking further to go as far as the river and back. It was a hot day, very late in Spring, and actually my birthday as I recall. As we got to the river some boys predictably wanted to get into the water.

I really wanted to jump in the water, to go for a proper swim, to swim around like a fish. So I offered to the other teacher that with a few strict boundaries to keep the boys to the shallows, that I would happily supervise from within the water. I hastily got ready and quickly stepped into the water.

Then I stopped. I felt content to stand ankle deep and watch the boys splashing around. The water was cool but not uncomfortable. The water was a little murky but that hadn’t stopped me before. I was satisfied at ankle-deep.

That night was one that I had been looking forward to. Not just because I knew that we would be eating at Outback Steakhouse for my birthday but also because it was the first night in a conference at my church. A conference time dedicated to the Holy Spirit and with Ps Lee Grady sharing.

Ps Lee preached a message titled, “How deep do you want to go?” based on the test from Ezekiel 47. He shared that this was a prophetic picture of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit around the earth. The text from Ezekiel describes water flowing as a river from the temple, and how he walked with a man who measured the water at intervals. At first it was ankle-deep, then knee-deep, then waist-deep, and finally becoming an impassibly deep river.

Ps Lee skillfully and prophetically shared about the condition of the individual and the church in relation to these stages or depths. Of course greater depth reflected greater maturity and control of the Holy Spirit. Ps Lee challenged us to shake off the desire to just play in the water or to be comfortable half-way, rather to dive into the raging river where we couldn’t possibly keep our footing or trust in ourselves for control.

The message that God preached to my soul that evening reverberated in me. I have been so content to stay in the shallows of the Holy Spirit. At times my desire has been great but I have been very easily satisfied – due both to laziness and fear. I know that there is more, I know that there is another way to live, I know that He is calling me - graciously and patiently He still draws me in.

I have learnt that this satisfaction has been the greatest enemy of me truly living in all that God has promised – to live in His power, to burn away the rubbish in my life and prepare me to serve in a greater capacity.