Inner Schism?

 “...dividing soul and spirit...”  Hebrews 4:12

Sometimes I feel fear and faith at the same time, probably more often than I’d like to confess. I’ve had times when I feel expectant about what God is going to do as I share the Word but also feeling quite discouraged. There’s been times when I feel full of confusion but able to make jokes and play with my kids.

Is this fake? Am I a hypocrite? Does this make me mentally ill?

When I have reflected on this I have presumed that this is strange and somehow wrong. I am one person, I want to be self-aware and consistent. How can I experience such different things simultaneously?

I’ve recently been considering what it means to be one person yet made with a body, a soul and a spirit. I realised that it can make sense to feel different things at the same time. My body might be tired, my soul worn out, while my spirit can be full of belief for what’s about to happen. Ideally all three parts would be doing great, and I certainly believe that this is possible, but it is foolish to doubt and judge myself when it’s different.

When our soul is overwhelmed with doubt and confusion, we need the living and active truth of God’s Word to divide between our soul and our spirit. Then, as our soul submits to the truth received in our spirit we’ll have peace that passes our understanding.

The Computer Metaphor

I thought about this idea to help understand the distinction between the spirit, soul and body. It has its limitations. Perhaps you can think of another way.

Hardware

The body is everything we can see, the physical, the moving parts; like the hardware of a computer. If something goes wrong with your hardware then it needs to be fixed or replaced. The hardware needs to do what the software tells it to do.

Software

The software is where the thinking and decision-making happens in the computer. Programs run, files are organised, memory is stored. If there is a problem with your software then you need to get an update, to refresh and to remove any bugs.

Connection

If the hardware and the software are doing their jobs, then the computer should be able to connect to the internet. It can come alive to the big world of the web. The internet is not God, but I think this connection is like the way our own spirit’s come alive at salvation and are then able to connect spiritually with God.

Friends, God is so good to us, so we really ought to submit our hardware to Him which pleases Him. Don’t be branded by the world but as you connect with God, let Him update, upgrade and refresh your software. Then you will know all that God has for you and wants for you.

Very rough paraphrase of Romans 12:1-2