Inner Schism?

 “...dividing soul and spirit...”  Hebrews 4:12

Sometimes I feel fear and faith at the same time, probably more often than I’d like to confess. I’ve had times when I feel expectant about what God is going to do as I share the Word but also feeling quite discouraged. There’s been times when I feel full of confusion but able to make jokes and play with my kids.

Is this fake? Am I a hypocrite? Does this make me mentally ill?

When I have reflected on this I have presumed that this is strange and somehow wrong. I am one person, I want to be self-aware and consistent. How can I experience such different things simultaneously?

I’ve recently been considering what it means to be one person yet made with a body, a soul and a spirit. I realised that it can make sense to feel different things at the same time. My body might be tired, my soul worn out, while my spirit can be full of belief for what’s about to happen. Ideally all three parts would be doing great, and I certainly believe that this is possible, but it is foolish to doubt and judge myself when it’s different.

When our soul is overwhelmed with doubt and confusion, we need the living and active truth of God’s Word to divide between our soul and our spirit. Then, as our soul submits to the truth received in our spirit we’ll have peace that passes our understanding.